Weekly Warning Words

Mr President, it's time to save your Presidency. The following are the only means to accomplish this. Just work on these propositions if possible in this order:

Use the next newmoon to extricate our troops from Afghanistan and Iraq on the sly. Complete the withdrawal during the next few nights without previous announcements.

Proclaim victory because you have completely demolished the power of the main terrorists. Now leave it to the will of the various parties in their struggle for power to establish a form of government best suited to their circumstances.

Continue the shower of one-dollar bills over big cities and their worst ghettos, only 1000 a week where there is trouble, ten (10) times that many where some sort of order is established. 1000 $20 dollar bills over police stations, fire departments and schools, but nothing for the military.

Explain to the world what you intended to do against one great tyrant as your father did in Panama. Apologize for the unintended collateral destruction by begging the 2 nations to join the rest of the civilized world.

Announce from the Rose Garden that you will ask all compassionate Republicans and Democrats to retax the haves to the amount of their tax refund. Try to come closer to a balanced budget.

Redefine patriotism: Dying for our nation is no acceptable idealism unless combined with the dedication to the welfare of all our living people, regardless of social, economic, ethnic, and religious background.

Don't allow your anti-government allies to overpower our sacred governance according to our Constitution. Individual freedom must be revitalized.

Declare that it is undemocratic and outright vicious for men to decide what concerns mostly women. Only a woman with her trusted physician should decide on the fruit of the womb.

Restate your will to concentrate all our wealth on education, the restructure of our infrastructure and investment in renewable electric power. Concentrate on plans for complete economic independence.

Declare as the 10th of your political commandments the decision to use your campaign funds towards the payment of the interest on our huge national debt.

If you talk and act as a born-again humane being, our nation will find you worthy to serve a second term.

October 29, 2003 - WEEK 6 - Victory at Last!

BY DR BRUNO J. KEITH